Burn Out?

     Am I burnt out? I don't know.

     I've been feeling a bit worn out at times over the past couple months but thought it was the usual work-out recovery cycles or less-sleep, more-sleep exchanges I often enough go through.

     But these past two weeks or so, I've been feeling it in my legs. That's unusual, those are usually strong due to decades of daily walking and regular runs, so I take it as a sign of my need to ratchet back. Get some rest. Take some sick leave even, as necessary. (I seldom take a sick day off.)

     I wonder if it may be further evidence of my advancing age. I may have to walk up the two steep, short hills toward the beginning of my three-and-a-half mile run, which I do every third day. But work-outs and recoveries usually go just fine, so I'm not yet convinced. “Run the way I feel” is the old adage I must follow—I try to—rather than force through to make the miles.

     But then again, I've been pushing pretty hard emotionally this past half-year, starting from our church's spring camp, then our public speaking engagement at church service, and outer island mission trip. Then I had to address Braden's academic travails and bad attitudes, and chose to play bass with the worship band. It's all been good, but stressful at times. In the past, dealing with stress has been doable for me—all part of life. But within the past five years or so God's shown me the need to do a better job taking care of myself: I'm responsible for my feelings and I have to do better for the sake of my long-term (and short-term) health at managing my stress levels. I've been trying, but I'm emotional by nature, so it's far from automatic.

     I notice when I push myself (or cruise along at high octane) for too long, I sometimes get sick. I think that's what might have just happened. Pene's out for her second day today with a fever. Though I don't have a fever, I do have other cold-like symptoms (tired legs, bleah feelings, lethargy, occasional stomach aches, deep drowsiness—very unusual for me. I like work and am loathe to miss a day, so to skip, I have to feel pretty awful.)

     I'm glad in a way. I've been praying for God's peace, calm, and rest, and this has helped in the healing/recovery process.  I hope these trials are all just temporary and I'll be back to normal before long. But, if necessary, I'll dial back the intensity of workouts and moderate what I can to avoid/eliminate/reduce avoidable (bad) stress, especially.

     For not all stress is bad and worth avoiding. Some is good and to be appreciated such as a child's wedding, a job promotion, a once-in-a-lifetime vacation trip, etc.

     Oh yeah, Deanne just got offered a full-time job, wonderful news, so she's been arranging for Jaren's before- and after-school care. This is a load off my mind knowing she's building up a strong work history so that when it comes my time to retire, God willing, she'll be able to make up for my pension's lower monthly pay check (especially until social security kicks in). She's almost a decade my junior so she's likely got far more work years in her than I do. Praise God for that!

     I wonder now if I perhaps caught the flu? I every year get a flu shot early, so perhaps I'm experiencing milder symptoms 'cause my body's already built-up an immunity? If so, praise God! (I've had the flu before, sans shot, and it was miserable.)